angel’s cry

Life has ups and down but sometimes life has been so unfair to me that most of the time i was always in downfall and hardship[ maybe i only had not seen and forgot what a beautiful life i have in the near future. I dont believe in fairytale instead i believe in God that im so afraid and have a strong faith i Him but this dark clouds in my life has seems no end. its a simple thing that fell into nowhere though i have laid it in prayer. You wouldnt imagine how painful it was to be always rejected and turned down. I want to ask why but to whom? I feel that i cant go on any further.It feels like the world was closing the door on me. This life couldnt be this hard if i only have had a good things in life to remember. i was always on failure almost makes my hands tied upon filthy lucre. I fell ito pieces and despised my lil guts to go on. It was just a simple wish that have been a roots of grief moreover its hard to see those prescious of mine i cling on are slowly devour by world transgressions and deceit.Overwhelmed by my circumtances beautiful tricks occured to my mind that God was seems ignoring my situation and turned His back on me. Im almost begin to think of God as distant untouched by my sorrow. I asked to myself what have i dont wrong, where did i go wrong how bad have i been, was it wrong to abide right things in life? Anxiety, anguish, anger threatened to crush m y spirit nevertheless throughout of these i closed my lips and have swallowed my tears, my bitterness, my frustration i have just think perhaps this wish i had couldnt keep me on His will and grace. I keep in my mind that God has a plan and deeply touched by mine back breaking situation because Jesus shed tears too He hasnt forgotten how and whats like to be a human but for now i only say " God im still holding on and believen…."